Nine Lives by William Dalrymple…

Last week I devoured this book about spirituality in modern India. It was amazing, eye-opening and beautiful. I highly recommend it as a way to get at least a small glimpse into the complex world that is India, and to get a taste for some very different ways of looking at religion, god, and the meaning of life.

The book is in the form of nine short autobiographies, where essentially the writer lets the people tell their own stories, while occasionally asking questions or adding his own bits of background or experience to illuminate parts of the stories. Most of the chapters feature individuals on the fringes of Indian religious culture, either because they are part of non-Hindu religions, i.e. Jainism, Sufi Islam, or Buddhism, or because they participate in practices that challenge or defy the mainstream Hindu culture and live outside of the caste divides or Brahmin interpretation of religion.

The thing I love most about this book is its humanity. These personal stories are so real and touching and full of life. I think the author certainly makes an effort to show the ordinariness of these human experiences, which I imagine is a challenge when showing worldviews, practices and beliefs that can be so wildly different from the beliefs and worldviews of most westerners. The first story in the book, about a Jain nun dealing with the death of her best friend, literally brought tears to my eyes, it was so moving and beautiful; uplifting and tragic. And I loved, loved, LOVED the final chapter of the book and the way the whole reading experience was brought to a close, with the life affirming story of a blind minstrel, expressing his love of god through song and fellowship with his fellow minstrels, and singing that the only path to divinity is found within the human heart. After reading that final chapter I felt so happy to be alive!

I always find it uplifting, challenging, and inspiring to consider the way other people think and believe. I am ceaselessly amazed by the great diversity of human experience and culture. It is wonderful, awe-inspiring, strange and exciting to be a part of the human race in all its variety.

Morning drums…

This morning Richie and I were woken up by a rather unusual sound. I had been fast asleep and it was still dark outside, but as I slowly came-to, I realized it was drums. Or rather, one big drum. Then it dawned on me that a student had told me about this months ago. It’s a Ramazan tradition for a drummers to go around the neighbourhoods, beating their drums and waking everyone up so they have time to eat something before the sun rises, the first ezan (call to prayer) is given and the day’s fasting officially begins.

Obviously, this comes from a time before alarm clocks, but I think it’s a cool tradition.

Amateur poetry Sunday, Richie’s spaghetti extravaganza and Ramazan Day 5…

two cats screaming

in the shade of apartment blocks and fig trees

-sweltering day in August

Well, here is my poetic effort for the day. I’m sitting here at home in front of the fan after a short but sweaty walk back from work. I arrived at work at about 8.30am and finished at 6.30pm. Long day. It’s not too bad, but I do find having two four-hour classes to be a bit much. But on the other hand, I guess it’s good to get a big chunk of work done all in one day. It’s six of one, half a dozen of the other.

So, Richie is currently in the kitchen making his delicious pasta speciality with red peppers, tomatoes and onions, as has become our Sunday habit. I like it. Yesterday was yoga day, which was fantastic as usual. Then a friend of ours, Sohye, came over for dinner last night! It was great because we haven’t seen her for weeks and weeks.

And the only other interesting thing is that Ramazan (aka, Ramadan) began last Wednesday. Long ago, I had aspirations to at least try a couple days of fasting to honour the spirit of the month. I really don’t feel up to it now. Maybe this means I am weak and pathetic, but Ramazan fasting means not eating OR drinking anything during daylight hours. You aren’t supposed to smoke either, but this wouldn’t really effect me. Not eating during the day is one thing, although I must admit am a big wimp when it comes to not eating regularly. I get headaches and feel terrible and all that. Basically, I’m a big baby. But not drinking. I can’t imagine. In this heat, with all the sweating…. sounds unbearable. And yet, tons of people (with far more discipline and determination than me) manage to do it every year. I am honestly very impressed by their commitment and strength of will.

So, in Istanbul many people fast and many people don’t. From my impression of things, most Turks are not puritans when it comes to their religion. For instance, most Turkish people that I know drink alcohol, which is forbidden in Islam. I think most of my students, who come from the wealthy, more Western-oriented sections of Turkish society, are not fasting at all. A friend told me her sister’s family, who don’t fast in the technical sense, make a point during Ramazan to abstain from alcohol to honour the rules of Islam a bit more for the month.

On thing that’s interesting about Ramazan though, that I never considered before we came here is that it seems to be a mix of fasting and celebration, for those participating. Yes, during the day it’s tough- no food, no water, no cigarettes. I’ve been told that the beginning of the month is the worst, as people are adjusting to the hardship of it all, and everyone can be cranky and irritable, which is certainly understandable. But then in the evenings, after the sun goes down and the day is officially over, people eat and sit on their balconies and enjoy themselves. During the night you can eat and drink to your heart’s content. So, the deprivation and repentance of the day is balanced by the enjoyment and feasting of the night.

So, that’s about it for now. I’m just looking forward to reading a little bit before dinner’s ready, then stuffing my face, and then maybe playing a game with Richie. Sounds like a great Sunday night to me!

Men, women, modesty, and who gets to call the shots…

I recently read an article discussing young (American) Christian males’ views on female modesty. The guys, from young teenagers to men in their early thirties, answered a number of questions related to women’s behavior, choice of clothing, etc., and shared their views on what makes a girl/woman modest and why they think it’s important.

I must admit, I had a lot of problems with the ideas presented in this article. As the author points out in the conclusion, one major flaw is that a bias is built right into the design of the survey, in that women have no voice in the matter. Men have problems with women’s physical appearance, men decide what is modest and what is not, and women, basically, are at fault because they were born with bodies. Women aren’t even asked what they think. They don’t have the opportunity to define for men the way they should behave or dress in order to fit into the concept of modesty.

One thing I found most interesting about the views these young men expressed is that even when women aren’t doing anything, they’re still at fault, in a way. In their view, women must be CONSTANTLY vigilant, lest they do anything, even unconsciously, that men might find attractive or distracting. That’s tough work. I think most of the women I know are a bit busy doing rather important stuff in the world, like working and living their lives, and don’t have time to become an overly-self-conscious basket case to protect the men who may or may not be watching her.

And here’s a quote from one of the survey participants that I found  particularly irksome: ‘An immodest lady is loud, proud, and dresses in a way that communicates such an attitude (male, age 24).’ Does this mean modest women shouldn’t speak or feel happy in their own skin? A woman should be sitting in a corner somewhere, eyes averted, not draw any attention to herself? Nonsense. I can’t believe that being confident, speaking, and feeling good about yourself means you are guilty of immodesty, if that is such a horrible crime after all.

This article also forces me to wonder, what exactly is the point of worrying about modesty? Is it still important? Isn’t it just some outdated concept that has no place in a world where (ideally) men and women are equal human beings and truly see each other as such?

I think it’s, at the least, an unfortunate mindset for people to have, and can also be very damaging. Women are, as always. guilty of being human and maybe looking good, and must live in fear of tempting men. We aren’t allowed to just be what we are and act naturally. Instead, we must always see ourselves reflected in other people’s reactions, behaviours and needs, and we should be defining our self-image based on other people’s views of us. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like this very much. At all.

Regardless of your opinions on the subject, I do think the article is a good read. Certainly food for thought and discussion. Check it out, see what you think and share your thoughts.

I feel like celebrating…

Over the last week or two I’ve had a few down days. I’ve thrown a few temper tantrums at life, I’ve felt sorry for myself and have had some hardcore homesick moments. Sometimes I get weighed down by my tendency to worry about things, present and future, and this can snowball into a little sad spell.

Usually these sad spells involve me thinking of all my shortcomings, all the millions of things I’m NOT doing in my life, all the ‘shoulds’ I pile up on myself and then fail to live up to. It isn’t a very nice or productive experience.

So, this past week I’ve had a bit more time than usual to truly relax and take care of myself. I’m still nursing a slightly out-of-whack back and this has provided me with a good excuse to stay home, rest, think, reflect in a more positive way and build my emotional and physical strength back up.

Today Richie and I are both off work. Its our rest day and our chance to be together for a whole day! So, I’m celebrating today. I think its all too easy to be hard on yourself, and it is a fact that there will always be a million and one things we could or ‘should’ be doing, but at the same time, its important to celebrate your own personal victories in life and all the good things you have.

So this morning I am thinking of all the things I’m proud of, that make me feel alive and courageous and eager to experience whatever the next adventure in life may turn out to be. I think sometimes we feel ashamed to be proud of ourselves or to think that we’re living a pretty AMAZING life, but whatever! I’m gonna feel proud and maybe even a bit full of myself today!

Well, here are the things I’m most proud of and excited about in my life to date:

1. I’m married to an amazing man and we have a fantastic relationship. We are best friends, we are managing to be responsible adults and take care of ourselves and each other quite successfully, and we are having fun while doing it. I just can’t imagine a better person to travel through this life with.

2. I’ve moved to two countries (apart from my own, obviously) and have managed to make amazing friends that I’ll keep forever, get involved in satisfying and positive pursuits, have worked in numerous jobs and made an honest living in worthwhile ways, have gained tons of new skills and experiences along the way, and have learned how to survive and thrive in new places.

I’m basically living my dream. I always wanted to travel and experience life in different countries, and that’s what I’m doing. Not to say its always a bed of roses, but still. There’s a cost to everything, but despite all that, I’m so freakin’ lucky to be doing what I always dreamed I’d do!

3. I have absolutely fantastic, beautiful and life-changing friends. I must be doing something right in this life if I can manage to be friends with such great people! I’m not the best at long-distance communication (as I’m sure just about everyone who knows me is aware of) but I’ve managed to collect and keep such good people as friends, who have enriched my life so much, have taught me many things, and have added so much love and beauty into my life.

4. I’ve learned I’m adaptable and strong enough to survive the trials and tribulations of being human! I couldn’t do this without the love and support of so many friends and family, and of course, Richie, but I also know that I’m strong, and even though I certainly have weak times, I am able to do what needs to be done, make important decisions and keep working and adapting to make a life for myself.

5. I’m finally teaching, and doing a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. For a first-year teacher anyway. I’m working in quite possibly the best language school in Istanbul, my students have been happy with their lessons, I’m learning lots about my job, I work with great people, and I haven’t got sacked or had any other major professional mishaps! Haha! I spend so much time being a perfectionist and worrying about teaching, but honestly, things are going really well. That’s not to say I don’t have TONS to learn, but that’s normal.

6. I’m feeling as healthy and strong as I’ve ever felt in my life (apart from the temporary issue of my back). I do yoga at least twice a week, I’ve actually managed to have some discipline in my life, I have a pretty consistent spiritual practice, I exercise loads just going about my daily routines, and I make sure Richie and I have a nice healthy diet, so hopefully we’ll live a nice long time and have happy bodies and minds!

7. I’ve become a damn good housekeeper. This might not sound like something that exciting, but keeping things tidy has never been my strong point. This has almost  become a discipline too. I love to have clean kitchen when I wake up in the morning, I actually regularly hoover and tidy and do laundry. I’ve even washed the windows, for god’s sake! I love our apartment, and I feel like our home is our castle and I want to make it a nice castle to spend time in. Our home is the most sacred and important place in our life, and the daily routines of taking care of it and living in it are sacred too.

8. Today I also even feel proud of what I consider to be one of my main flaws. I think this obnoxious, annoying, head-wreaking flaw is also the identical twin of my greatest strength. In a nutshell, I am constantly trying to change myself, trying to be something more than I am, always looking for some new thing to make me happy, give me a sense of identity, to fill in the gaps in my life. Its almost like an animal hunger that can’t ever be satisfied and it means that I often thoughtlessly scarf down life like a dog scarfs down dinner! This restless of mine can leave me feeling drained, edgy, dissatisfied with myself and life, inadequate and like I don’t really know who or what I am sometimes.

But on the flip side, this restlessness fills me with energy, creativity, the desire to be a better person and to do something positive for the world. It challenges me to try new things, experiment with new identities and ways of seeing and understanding the world, it make me try constantly to become more and more open-minded, compassionate and wise. It makes me like a roaming animal, who wants to nibble the grass of every field, take a sip from every stream, and taste every good thing in life. It makes me think and think and think, sometimes driving me insane, but every now and again, leading me to have some clearer understanding of the world. Most of all its the constant energy of change, change, change, and this passion for change can sometimes be a curse, but its also a positive defining characteristic of my life. I wouldn’t be where I am today,  with all the things I have to celebrate, if it wasn’t for my untameable restlessness.

So, there you go. I’m going to think about all those good things today and hopefully for many days. I hope you’ll take some time to celebrate yourself and your life today too. Don’t be shy!

Happy living!

National Religious Campaign Against Torture…

This morning I have yet again been prematurely forced from my comfy bed by my annoying cough. So I’m drinking a cup of tea with honey and reading about torture! A strange way to start the day.

Anyway, I came across a couple of articles, one from the Religion Dispatches and connected links. According to the article, religious leaders in America are taking a stand against the torture and experimentation carried out on detainees of the CIA and US military during the Bush administration. A recent report by Physicians for Human Rights discusses the fact that while trying to safeguard themselves from legal sanctions for torture carried out on suspected terrorists, the Bush administration may have violated a number of national and international laws, such as those put in place to make human experimentation illegal in response to the Holocaust.

This whole issue of the US government torturing suspected terrorists is one that I find so upsetting. No innocent until proven guilty. No concern for human rights. It is amazing to me that certain elements of the American government are supposed to be above both our national laws as well as being above the laws and conventions that the ‘civilized’ world hold to be binding and necessary. I say ‘civilised’ because of course there are regimes in the world who do equally bad or worse things to people, disregarding human rights and dignity. Maybe its just me, but I hold America and its government to a slightly higher moral standard than places like Iran, Zimbabwe, Saudi Arabia, etc.

Something else I find so hypocritical and upsetting about the whole thing is that America is supposed to be this strongly Christian nation, and its so ironic that the Bush administration was a part of the whole religious right in America. Honestly, I have pondered this, but I don’t see how someone can call themselves a Christian and believe it is okay to torture someone, in ways that have left detainees, some who have been released because they are innocent, with serious physical, mental and emotional scarring. That is why we have ‘innocent until proven guilty’, to protect the innocent from such abuses. Even one person’s life destroyed by torture, or by being illegally held in limbo in Guantanamo Bay for years and years, is one too many. And what has all this suffering and cruelty accomplished? Many have said it accomplishes nothing, and even suspected terrorists who revealed important information about future terrorist attacks or whatnot, did so before they were subjected to techniques like waterboarding, etc. These were just done in excess. In my opinion, the only thing torture accomplishes is it makes us all accomplices if we don’t stand up against it. It makes our nation guilty of violating human rights and it negates the idea  that America is out there working in the world to spread ‘civilization’ and bring democracy to the poor suffering nations of the world.

Anyway, its food for thought. But I think this might be a bit too deep for 6.00am! I’m off to have a shower and think of happier things. But I recommend checking out these sites:

National Religious Campaign Against Torture

Religious Leaders Speak out against Physician Complicity in Torture

Did the Bush Administration Experiment on Detainees?

Women and veils in Muslim lands…

Women and veils: Running for cover

Headgear in Muslim lands: Beyond the burqa

I just read a couple of really interesting articles from a May edition of the Economist about women, head scarves and coverings of various kinds in the international Muslim community.  The first article I read discusses the fact that there are many different connotations to a head scarf or other types of coverings, such as the burqa or niqab. In addition, within the Muslim world, there is controversy over the different forms of headgear. For example, according to the article, the late senior Muslim cleric of Egypt, Sayed Tantawi, told an 11-year-old girl to remove her niqab because it was un-Islamic. According to some, these types of coverings for women are simply cultural and have nothing to do with Islam.

Another interesting point mentioned in the article is that for many women wearing a headscarf can be a liberating experience. In some places and traditional communities, such as in rural Turkey, wearing a headscarf can actually make it easier for women to be active in public.

In still other situations and places, wearing a headscarf is so commonplace that it doesn’t have much meaning, and has become little more than a fashion accessory.

My point in writing this is not to defend the headscarf or any other type of headgear for women. I just think that as outsiders looking in at this issue, it seems a black-and-white case of women being oppressed by men and a religion that makes them wear overly restrictive clothes. But I think its important to keep in mind that 1. there are many reasons why women are covering themselves, 2. not all women wearing head scarves, etc. are doing so against their will; there are those (possibly many) who are actively making the choice to wear head coverings, and 3. there are many cultures, education levels, socio-economic classes, and countries involved in this issue, as well as many different sects and denominations within the Islamic community, some religious, political, or a mix of the two. Therefore, it’s complicated.

To me, as a casual observer and armchair theorist on the issue, it seems that there are greater things to worry about than what some women are wearing. I think the more pressing matter is making sure that women have economic freedom, can work and keep their own earnings, and that they have access to education and protection under the law.  These are the things that are important for all women around the world, not just in Islamic countries. These are the real things that are needed for women to be empowered. Then they can decide to wear whatever they want, I imagine.

On the path to simplicity…

Today I was taking a look at one of my new favourite blogs, The Non-Consumer Advocate, and I found this link to yet another great blog, zenhabits.

I have to say, since I’ve been trying to buy less and adjust to a much simpler and thriftier lifestyle, I have been surprised and delighted by all the inspirational and encouraging ideas I’ve gathered from others who are trying to live this way too. I have to admit that for me, this experience hasn’t just been about saving money, just for the sake of it. Obviously, spending less has been necessary for the past few months since our income has been dramatically reduced. But this isn’t just about penny pinching. Saving money isn’t an end or goal I find very motivating or worthwhile, in and of itself. I never expect to have a big fat bank account or be wealthy.

This process of simplification has been a spiritual kind of experience, if you will. Not in some crazy, fanatic, sell-all-your belongings, hippie kind of way. But it has made me reflect on my dependency on things, on all the desires and wants I have, on how I never feel satisfied and am always looking for some new thing, experience, achievement or self-development plan, to make me feel happy. I have also been taking meditation and the whole practice of developing openness and mindfulness more seriously since we’ve been in Turkey. I needed it to help me cope with the massive changes taking place, and to keep me balanced and sane.

As I gradually take on more of this life-simplifying process, mindfulness has been a great help to me. I pay attention more to my internal state of affairs and have developed a sort of curiosity about my own thoughts, emotions and reactions to things. I feel when I am resisting something, when an emotional wall goes up, or when I get stressed out by some circumstance or event. It also helps me not take myself too seriously, which is always a good thing!

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that simplification really is a lifestyle change. We eat more simply, just a few fresh ingredients, cooked in a simple style, but full of nutrition. We don’t buy much of anything. We spend less on eating out, but truly enjoy it when we do go out. I choose to spend what disposable income I do have on yoga, and meeting with friends, talking over coffees, drinks, lunch, etc. When I feel stressed or cranky or restless, I can take a deep breath and have a mindful moment of looking at the cause of my emotions, and let things go. This simplification process is far from over, but I feel more free as a result of the changes that I have made in the way I live. I feel excited about discovering my points of resistance and taking some time to gradually dismantle them and free my mind bit by bit.

Thich Nhat Hanh: a true peacemaker…

As I mentioned in a recent post, I first came across the writings of Buddhist monk and political/social activist Thich Nhat Hanh while writing my senior research paper in high school. Through the years, I’ve read numerous books by him, and have always been inspired by his gentleness, compassion and kindness. He teaches a simple and down-to-earth message of loving yourself and all beings on this earth. He actively worked to promote peace in his native Vietnam during war, and helped found the ‘engaged’ Buddhism movement, leaving a secluded monastic life to help the villagers who suffered so greatly during the war. He persuaded Martin Luther King, Jr. to publicly oppose the Vietnam war, and later nominated King for the Nobel Peace Prize. He is truly a man of compassion, wisdom and love, and has been working to promote peaceful living for decades.

Honestly, I could go on and on about him. One certainly doesn’t have to be a Buddhist to see what an amazing man Thich Nhat Hanh is. I had just been flicking through some articles online today when I stumbled upon this article in Tricycle magazine. Its short and simple, but it just seemed to be the sort of thing I needed to read today.

Anyway, I basically recommend checking out any of his books, no matter what your spiritual or ethical leanings are. I’m positive you’ll be uplifted and inspired.

It’s about things…

Slowly, I am making my way through The Writing on the Water, the book by Muhyiddin Shakoor, chronicling his journey along the Sufi spiritual path.

As I was reading this evening, I was reflecting on the way that old, worn out and broken objects make their way into this story. These objects usually have some role to play in the teachings of the Shaikh; each chapter is focused on the author’s internal journey to understand these teachings and the insight he receives in dealing with tasks set out for him by the Shaikh.

I had a little insight of my own while thinking about the objects mentioned in the book. There are frequent incidents involving cars; specifically, old, broken-down cars. Hunks of junk that somehow still manage to function, at least occasionally. A car that has completely died and sits rusting away in an old barn. Cars broken down and useless on the side of the road. A car stuck in the snow on the night of a blizzard. The disciples in the book seem to be constantly struggling with these old bangers.

Then there is an antique record player with a broken needle, and the disciple has to go in search of this out-dated item to repair the player. In one chapter, there is an dilapidated old barn at the farm where the Shaikh and his disciples often gather. The Shaikh tells the dervishes to tear down the barn, beam by beam, and then they burn it in a bonfire over the course of a year. Throughout this year of destroying all traces of the old barn, the group of disciples go through many mental and physical struggles; moving the heavy beams and planks, watching over the fire through the long snowy winter nights, learning to work together to accomplish such a seemingly endless and daunting task. During this time they also find an rusty and aged wooden trailer and use it to help them transport some of the weather-worn wood from different parts of the farm, to construct fences and benches.