I think this is going to be a ‘random thoughts’ post, just to put that warning out ahead of time. Beware of unexpected nonsense and half-baked ideas!
First of all, I’ve been having ‘American things’ cravings. I want to go to a baseball game. I want to have a barbeque and eat hamburgers and bratwurst and potato salad and CORN ON THE COB slathered in copious amounts of butter. I want to go camping or at least hiking in a foresty national park. I want to sit in a grassy back yard and possibly play in a sprinkler. I want to go to the beach. You get the idea. I think because it’s summer now, BUT we’re staying home so much and not really doing our normal Istanbul summer stuff, as a replacement I am really missing all the summer associations of home. It’s funky and I don’t really know what to do about it. This is just going to be a summer of not much being out and about, which I’m okay with, but it’ll feel sort of weird to be missing out on the usual going to cafes and sitting outside drinking tea for hours and all that kind of thing. And, lets be honest, probably most of it comes down to food and I just really want yummy summer food. And a nice cold beer sounds pretty great too.
I think I’ve also started getting to that impatient phase of pregnancy. I have two months to go, which sometimes feels like a long time and sometimes feels like no time at all! We’re doing all this home-related stuff to get ready for the baby, and hopefully soon we’ll have the new crib and things will pretty much be set up. I’m glad we still have some time before the new little guy arrives, but part of me just wants to get to the end and have him here already! I’m anxious to start this whole new chapter in our lives, but then again, I also want to be in the moment now and enjoy this relatively calm time with Richie and Liam before everything changes and gets a bit crazy for a while. Especially for Liam, I want to make the most of these next two months and just have fun with him and fill him up with lots of extra lovin’ before he has to deal with the big adjustment of sharing us with a new baby. But it’s hard to be in the moment when there’s just so much to think about and look forward to. My brain is a bit split in two. If I’d just settle down to do it, I think some yoga/meditation would be great for helping me calm down my overloaded mind and just bring me back to the present, which is really what would be best. Must try harder to do that.
I’ve also been thinking a bit about the medium-term future, in relation to jobs and where we’ll live and how we’ll live, etc. I haven’t been thinking about it loads, because obviously the first priority is just to focus on this baby-having thing, but I think precisely because we’re having another baby, I can’t help but be thinking about our future and wanting to have some clearer plans or ideas about what we’ll be doing in the next couple of years or so. I’ve actually been thinking about researching some ‘work from home’ options, although to be honest, I have no idea where to start. I still have teaching as the most likely and most sensible job for me to go for, but at the same time, I don’t want to have a rigid plan that entirely depends on one single job option. If there were some sort of job I could do from home, especially if it was something I could begin while we’re in Turkey and didn’t tie me down to one location, it could be really useful as we try to transition back to Ireland (or the US). Plus, childcare is just so expensive, working from home for a few years could certainly have financial benefits. PLUS, I just hate the idea of putting my kids in day care. It’s certainly not a judgement on anyone who has to or has chosen to do so, but I just find the idea of handing my tiny kids over to some strangers in a day care to be one of the most soul crushing and depressing ideas ever. Maybe it’s because I was raised by a stay-at-home-mom, I don’t know. I may have to get over that at some point, but if it were possible, I’d love to avoid it. Anyway, work from home… perhaps something education related or maybe editing. I honestly don’t know, but it’s just something I’ve been casually thinking and wondering about.
Well, I think that’s enough of me rambling about this and that. It is a bit therapeutic to put it in writing rather than just leaving it to float around aimlessly in my head!